A one-sided relationship usually happens when the person you are with doesn’t share the same level of interest in you as you do them.
You might be madly in love with your significant other, but they might feel less intensely about you.
It’s important to keep in mind that one sided relationships can happen not only romantically but in platonic relationships as well.
I don’t want to go off into a rabbit hole so my main focus today will be on romantic relationships.
The blissful beginning…
When you start off a relationship the newness of it is so exciting. The joint effort is usually there for some time…until it isn’t.
One sided relationships do not usually start off as one sided. But most end up this way because of this imbalance.
Being in an imbalanced relationship is painful (and stressful) so it’s best to get out as soon as possible.
One sided relationships usually never turn into happily ever after and they always end in heartbreak.
If someone isn’t putting in as much effort as you are in any relationship, chances are it doesn’t mean as much to them as it does to you.
You can not be the only one putting in all the work and carrying an entire relationship all by yourself!
If may be time to cut your losses and keep it moving.
12 Signs of a One Sided Relationship
*Note: Some of the red flags below can be applied to platonic friendships and relationships with family.
1) They treat you like a chore & not a priority
The person you care about should NEVER treat you like some kind of obligation.
He doesn’t care about you if he treats you like a chore and gets annoyed or irritated anytime you ask him to spend more time with you!
Instead of spending time with you, he will choose his friends, hobbies, job etc.
You will find yourself making all the effort while the other person will not reciprocate.
You will be so far down their priorities list even their pet goldfish will be a tad higher up the list than you!
2) You always call /text first
This one is kind of harsh but oh so very very true! I have been in a situation where I was the one always calling and texting a guy and it didn’t end well.
He never reached out and I should have taken that as a sign that he was not as invested in me (silly me I had to learn the hard way) .
“Oh he’s busy.” “Maybe he forgot.” blah blah blah…I kept lying to myself.
Don’t fool yourself,- if a man is really into you and doesn’t want to lose you he will put in the effort in reaching out and staying in touch.
Nobody is that busy to where they can’t even take 2-5 minutes to text/call you! Not even a brain surgeon with a full schedule! – I mean NOBODY!
3) Lack of Consistency
You will get fired from ANY job if you are unreliable. It doesn’t matter the kind of skill level or education that you have. -So why do we as women put up with unreliable and inconsistent men?!
An inconsistent man can say that they will do one thing but will do the complete opposite. These types of male species are consistently under delivering.
Staying in a relationship with a man who lacks consistency is a pure waste of time.
Unreliable men really know how to use their words to string you along for as long as you allow them to.
A consistent man will make you feel loved, protected and secure. An inconsistent one will not!
If you are in a one-sided relationship one of the most common red flags is your partner’s (I say that word lightly) lack of consistency.
4) Monogamy…What’s that?
Slooooow down anytime you are dating someone (especially in the first few 3-6 months of dating). Make sure that the lines are clear and not blurry.
You both need to be on the same page when it comes to monogamy.
Do not be afraid to let a guy know that you have boundaries and always look at their actions, never the words they tell you.
Be assertive and find out what your partner’s views are on monogamy. If you want to be monogamous and they don’t,- then it’s time to re-evaluate.
Being the only monogamous person in your relationship is a good way to get your heart broken.
5) They are selfish
He likes to talk about himself and everything is always about him. His problems, job, hobbies, feelings are the only ones that matter.
Anytime you are intimate, a selfish partner will always make sure they arrive and drop you a few blocks away from your intended destination.
Anytime you start to say something about yourself his eyes glaze over. A selfish person will always put their needs before yours.
6) Not reciprocating your affection
Someone taking you for granted is a painful thing. A man who doesn’t make an effort to connect with you on an emotional (non-sexual) level is likely taking you for granted.
He won’t initiate non-sexual physical contact. For example, he won’t cuddle with you, hug you, give you a kiss etc. And if he does initiate physical contact, it feels forced and its as if he’s going through the motions.
If you feel like you love him more than he loves you, holding on will guarantee that you will get hurt eventually. Do not ignore your intuition.
If you make a nice dinner for your partner, plan something special for his birthday, -but he doesn’t do the same for you (or even bother)… It’s a one sided relationship hunnaay!
7) You are not in their future
They will use words such as “I” and ”me” instead of “we” and us” when speaking about future plans.
If he doesn’t see you in his future he won’t include you in it. Simple as that.
A man who cares about you will want to create memories with you by doing things together.
They will go to weddings, vacations, parties etc. and invite you along.
A man who doesn’t really see you in his future will always have an excuse when it comes to leaving you out of certain events in his life.
8) No effort with your family/friends
You have been dating for some time and you notice that your boyfriend doesn’t really want to spend time to get to know the people closest to you.
He doesn’t really socialize with your friends and when he is around your family or friends he only speaks when spoken to, seems a bit aloof, detached or even rude.
When you ask him to join you for dinner with your family or friends he skips out offering up some excuse or another.
9) You haven’t met his friends or family
It’s been 6 months, 1 year, 2 years and you still haven’t met his family or friends.
If a man keeps you a secret, -then he just doesn’t see a long term future with you.
A man who keeps you separate from the important people in his life is a big red flag!
He might be ashamed to be seen with you (or maybe he has a girlfriend, fiance or is married)! It could be many other reasons but none of them are ever any good.
Don’t be that girl waiting…wishing…hoping that one day this fool will finally wake up and see your value.
You want to be with a man who’s proud to be with you and show you off. Be with the man who will bring you into and include you in his life.
If you are with someone that is hiding you, -move on with your life. Never allow yourself to be anybody’s secret.
10) Refuses To address issues in your relationship
A man who cares about your relationship will take on an active role in addressing any issues you might have (big or small).
If you are with someone who doesn’t want to make the effort needed to resolve any issues that you’re having in your relationship, it’s a red flag sis!
It’s a red flag whenever someone refuses to deal with conflict. They probably have unrealistic views about what a relationship should be like.
You will never feel heard by being in a relationshp with such a person.
An man who never wants to peacefully solve the problems in your relationship will never validate the way you feel.
He won’t care about your needs and in the end you will feel as if you are the only one carrying the relationship.
11) You are growing in life & he isn’t
You want more out of life and your partner doesn’t seem to be on the same page.
You are working out, he prefers to camp out on the couch eating pizza. You start a business, want to make more money and travel while he just wants the bare minimum in life etc.
Long lasting couples are usually in sync with one another.
While you may love the person that you’re with, life is all about progress and there’s always room for improvement when it comes to fitness, money, career etc.
There is an imbalance in your relationship whenever your partner doesn’t support you or makes you feel alone when you try to do better in life.
12) Family & friends have warned you about him
Even though your friends and family have warned you about him, you still stay with him.
You feel the need to justify the way he acts.
Love can blind us to the point where we refuse to see things as they are. People on the outside looking in have a more objective view of things.
Family and friends can spot disrespectful and selfish behaviors better than we can. They can spot a one-sided relationship while we are still making excuses in our heads.
When your family warns you or tells you something about the guy you are with, listen and take mental notes. Chances are one day you will realize they were right all along!
Anytime you put in more effort in a relationship (romantic or friendship) than the other party, then you my friend are in a one-sided relationship.
If your boyfriend does not put in the effort needed to show you that he loves you and cares about you, then why are you with him?!
A man who genuinely loves and cares about you will show this through his actions.
He will move around his schedule, text you back, attend your graduation, go to your family gatherings etc.
Being in a one-sided relationship is a PURE WASTE OF TIME.
Love yourself enough to know that you deserve someone who cares about you, wants to be with you and proves that they love you with their actions.
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